Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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