Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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