Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
