My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize