he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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