I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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