you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
