Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
