three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
