Nicole vs. Life
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
