WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
