I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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