Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
