Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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