it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
