I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
