Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
40s are totally the cure
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize