Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Drake has all the answers
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
