I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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