girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
