there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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