it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
how drunk are you?
Several
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
