She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize