Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
