I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize