fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
