We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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