yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
