I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
that's an acceptable place to lick
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
