69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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