Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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