dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize