You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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