Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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