My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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