Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
