So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
