Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
