that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
