i just wanna soil my oats bro
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I want her autograph on my taint
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
