Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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