Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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