Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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