i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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