Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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