You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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