I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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