So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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