he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
worst night to have a conscience
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
