i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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