spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
