U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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