my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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