Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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