i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
