What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
