one might say we're banned from that church
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
