I am puke
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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