so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
