omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
