6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize