we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
