Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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