dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
