YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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