What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
