we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I am one with the molecules
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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