you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Randomize