dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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