Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How external is "for external use only"?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
