nut hugger
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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