I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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