How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
