How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
