i permit you to call me
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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