dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
