no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
