This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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