can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
